Oh. My. God.
I have just seen a snail's sex organs...
I should set the scene before I launch into a fascinating description.
Sultry August Sunday afternoon, cousin's beautiful Victorian cottage garden, impending summer BBQ, the girls are arguing over a snail...
And so it begins. To appease my rowing children and save a poor lowly snail from becoming an innocent bystander mutilated during a riot, I started to hunt for more snails and spotted two in an old pot behind the shed. They were stuck together and I presumed sheltering in a cool spot away from the heat of the sun... but I was wrong.
I pulled them apart and at first I thought they had parasites growing on them, before I twigged that actually I had just interrupted a passionate mollusc moment.
It was utterly fascinating. Each one had a white growth protruding from the side of its head (some sort of lady bits) and what looked to me to be a piece of fishing wire next to it (a snail penis!). It was one of those scenes that you can't help but keep looking at even though it makes you feel a bit queasy.
They had realised their sexual liaison was over, so I quickly called the girls over and we watched them sucking their own sex organs back inside their bodies and turn once again into a couple of innocent snails.
What can I say? It was a brilliant afternoon. The BBQ wasn't too bad either.
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